An
Anderson Christmas Miracle
By:
Brian D. Anderson
Written
12/2/12
Christmas, 1953, in
Mobile, Alabama, was by all accounts, a great time to be a kid. At
least that's the case when you watch the history channel. It was a
post WWII paradise, where anything was possible, and the whole
country bustled with industry and optimism. The Great Depression was
just a story told by drunken old men at backyard BBQ's and cocktail
parties. The Great War had been won and we were reaping the benefits
of our victory. Every Christmas heralded more good times to come, and
boy, oh boy, did the presents flow. Life was indeed good. That is,
unless your name was Jerry, and you were an eleven year old middle
child, living in the Anderson house. If such was your fate, as it was
mine, you found life to be a bit more trying. In fact, it could be
down right unpleasant.
My father had
never been what you may call a gentle, kind or even moderately happy
man. As lineman for the L&N railroad, he was often away for days
at a stretch, and spent the little time he was home in a general
state of low boiling anger. Angry at what, I never knew, but I did
know enough to stay out of his way, and not draw attention to myself.
I remember the times he would come home early in the morning from the
New Orleans run, stinking of soot and steel. If it was a weekend and
I was in bed, he would turn on the lights, staring daggers at me as I
pretended to sleep. If I didn't stir, the next thing I knew a lamp
blared in my eyes, and I was shaken violently. Right then, I knew
there would be no play for me that day; only work, work, and more
work. And let me tell you, when my father put you to work you didn't
stop until you were ready to die from exhaustion.
My mother was
about as different from my father as a person could be. I once heard
that the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Well, that
was my mother. Aloof and disinterested, she had a cold,
unapproachable way about her. Not cruel and angry like dad, but
uncaring and self-absorbed. As a young woman she was considered very
beautiful; in stark contrast to my father's ruff, grizzled
appearance, and the family story goes, she only married him because
he worked as a butcher during the Great Depression and could get his
hands on beef, which only people of means could afford at the time.
How true this is, I don't know, but I wouldn't doubt it.
I know you may
thinking that by the way I describe them, they were terrible people.
Well, you're not wrong. At least that's the way it was from my
perspective. But, if you were my older or younger brother, life was
far more pleasant and bearable. Though as a man, I don't think about
it much, back then, it was cause for me to truly despise my brothers.
Bobby, the youngest-younger than me by six years-caused me a no end
of irritation. Little brother's, as a rule, will always be a
nuisance, but most aren't doted upon like Bobby. Okay, I admit that's
not true, but that's the way I saw it. Every Christmas he would get
everything he had asked for, and me...well I got the same thing every
year. A truck and a ball. By eleven years old I have nine trucks and
nine balls in total. I can only assume the two that were missing was
due to the fact that as toddler and infant, they chose to skip me
altogether.
Billy, my older
brother by five years, was expected to get better treatment. After
all, he was the eldest , and in those days it was common for the
eldest son to get more than his siblings. By then, he was a teenager
and no longer cared about toys. Nice clothes and girls were his
thing. Billy took after my mother in most ways, particularly in
vanity, and was the only person I had ever seen her show true
affection for.
Knowing what
Christmas would bring, didn't make me an excited boy on Christmas
Eve. No, that was Bobby. Mom would drag us off to church, then send
us to bed early. Invariably, the second my light went off, Bobby
crept through my door and climbed in bed with me.
“What do you
think Santa's gonna bring,” he'd ask.
I may have been
irritated by Bobby, but he sure did think the world of me. A fact I
always remembered and brought us close as adults.
“How should I
know?” I'd say. “Nothing, if you don't get back to bed.” I'd
push him off the bed and roll over, squeezing my eyes shut.
Though I pretended
not to care, secretly I hoped each year that this time Christmas
would be different. Maybe, just maybe, I'd get at least one thing I
wanted, and that year I wanted a pocket knife. With this thought
racing through my young mind I would drift off to sleep.
Bobby was always
the first to wake, followed soon by me. Not that I was an early
riser, but it's hard to sleep with a five year old boy jumping up
and down on your bed, screaming “Santa came!” at the top of his
lungs.
Half filled with
hope and the other half trepidation, I slid out of bed, Bobby
dragging me by my arm, toward the living room. I could see my breath
billowing out as I tried my best to resist him. Mom and Dad wouldn't
turn on the heat until they got up, and December is a damn cold
month, even in Alabama. If I lit a fire or turned on the gas
radiators, Dad would yell...or worse, so there was nothing to do but
suffer through it. I nearly fell back as he let go of my my hand a
bolted to the Christmas tree. Indeed, Santa had come, but this was no
Macy's display. No model trains wound their way through the gifts,
with flat cars carrying baseball gloves and toy soldiers. No our
Christmas' were far more spartan.
In the corner of
the room hung our stocking, and the familiar round bulge of the lone
stocking stuffer protruded from the wall. An orange. Yes, for some
reason, my parents thought an orange was the perfect thing for a
child to receive at Christmas. Or perhaps it was just easy. The
plastic covered gold cloth couch and chairs had been pushed aside,
along with the cheap end tables. Normally we weren't allowed to play
in the living room, so Mom took great care that her “things” were
safe from our destructive little hands.
The tree was
decorated with gold ornaments and a single string of lights- there
was no tinsel, streamers, or anything else one might expect-and a
unlit, silver painted, wooden star crowned the understated
achievement. Aside from the tree, there were no other decorations in
the house. I think that's why, later in life, I tended to go a bit
overboard. My wife would compare me with Clark Griswald, in my
obsession. But hey...I enjoy it, even if it's a character flaw left
over from childhood.
Bobby made a
beeline to his first, and favorite present, seeing it folded neatly
atop a large gift wrapped box. He squealed with delight. It was a
cowboy outfit; complete with hat, chaps, two cap-guns and a holster.
Right there and then he stripped of his clothes, and donned the suit.
“Do I look like
a cowboy?” he asked, as he struggled to put on the holster. “Do
I?”
Without answering,
I scooped up his pajamas and took them to the laundry basket in the
bathroom. It was right next to Mom and Dad's room, so I tip-toed in
and out. But, I must not have been as quiet as I thought, because Mom
cracked the door and peeked out, her finger pressed to the side of
her nose. I froze. Dad was still sleeping and she wanted to keep it
that way. He never woke up in a good mood. In fact, you'd have
thought he was a drunk, his moods were so foul, which of course, he
wasn't. Looking back, though, I think I would have felt better about
it if he had been. At least it would have been an excuse.
When I got back
the the living room Bobby was still struggling with the holster, so I
reluctantly helped him put it on. I scanned the floor for my
gifts....and there they were. Unwrapped and tossed carelessly to the
back of the tree, lay my truck and ball...both red, and both cheap.
I sighed with
disappointment, plopped myself on the floor, and watched with envy as
Bobby ran around the room pretending to battle the Indian hordes. And
so you know, this was not politically incorrect in those days. I
suppose I should have told him to keep quiet. I knew if he was too
loud, Dad would wake up, and God knows we didn't want that. But then
again, it was Bobby making the racket...not me. It was Bobby who
would get in trouble. This made me laugh a wicked little laugh inside
my head. I know it was petty and childish, but I was a child,
and still very petty.
Just then I heard
it. The stomping and grumbling of an angry father. I jumped to my
feet and grabbed up Bobby, pulling him with me behind the tree. Don't
ask me why, but in spite of my jealousy, I didn't want him to get a
whoopin'. Not really. At least not the kind Dad would dole out.
The stomps grew
louder until the whole living room shook...or maybe it was me.
Suddenly, there he was. Standing there in his pajamas and robe. Bald,
mean, and angry. The deep lines carved into his face by years of
backbreaking work and the scorching southern sun, made him look all
the more frightening. I just knew we were doomed. But for once, I was
wrong.
“Keep it down,”
he growled. “Your brother's still sleeping.”
“Yes sir,” we
said in unison.
Dad scanned the
room then spun around and marched into the dining room cursing under
his breath. A moment later he was back carrying a small arm chair. He
placed it beside the tree, glaring at the other chairs Mom had
covered and dragged to the corner .
“Can't sit in my
own damn chairs, in my own damn house,” he grumbled.
I could hear Mom
rustling about the panrty, already starting Christmas dinner. I knew
it would be the last we'd see of her for a while, unless we needed
something from the kitchen. Now by all accounts, Mom was an awful
cook; a fact I didn't realize until I left home many years later, and
tasted real food. In fact, tales her culinary disasters became the
stuff of legend, passed down through the generations.
Bobby resumed his
pretend epic battle, albeit, quietly, and I grabbed my truck from
behind the tree and did my best to look happy. I know most families
open their gifts together, but we were not most families. Whatever
gifts were left to be opened, would wait until Billy got up, and Mom
and Dad would open theirs after dinner.
Dad sat there,
staring grumpily, tapping his foot, not saying a word. Finally, he
got up and strode off to Billy's room. A minute later Billy stumbled
in, rubbing his eyes and sat down on the floor next to me.
“At least Dad's
not yelling,” he whispered. He was right about that.
Billy and I were
never close, not even after we grew up, but as older brothers go, he
wasn't the worst. He was slight in build like Mom, and by the time I
was eleven I was nearly as tall, broader in the shoulder, and twice
as tough. But, this wasn't the reason he left me alone. Like I said,
he took after Mom. He simply didn't care enough to pick on me, even
when he still could.
Billy had already
received his present the day before. Dad had bought him an old
clunker of a truck and being that it couldn't be hidden, there was no
point in waiting until Christmas morning. He had a few other
presents, but he already knew what they were, and showed no interest
in opening them. He would wait until Mom was nearly finished with
dinner, then, in true favorite son form, quickly rip them open and
tell her how much he loved them. The fact is, he was counting the
seconds until dinner was over, and he could cruise in his new truck.
I guess I can't blame him for that.
“Get dressed and
go outside,” yelled Dad, from the kitchen. “Jerry, watch your
brother.”
Dad didn't like us
under foot, and thankfully my neighborhood was little more than
woods, dotted with a house here and there. It wasn't much, but for a
rambunctious kid, it was paradise. I quickly changed and grabbed
Bobby's coat and helped him put it on. Dad had lit the radiators and
fireplace by that time, and we hit the door and bitter cold air
outside, just as the house was warming up.
I hadn't bothered
with my ball and truck, and our oranges still waited for us in our
stockings. Thankfully, I was young enough to still enjoy playing
Cowboy's and Indian’s, so the next several hours were spent dodging
in and out of brush, running from tree to tree, and making shooting
sounds. Of course Bobby had his new cap-guns, and I had to use a
stick, but it really didn't matter. We had fun.
Billy and Dad were
busy working on his truck. Dad was notorious for “fixing” things
until he was the only person who could use them. There was little
doubt in my mind, that Dad was showing Billy the complex series of
actions need to start, stop, and keep the engine running. But
hey...when you're a teenager ,a vehicle means freedom, even if that
freedom meant you have to pump the clutch three times, while turning
the key half way, pulling the wheel slightly to the right, with the
radio set to 660 AM, the left vent closed, and the windows rolled
down. And if you think that's a joke, you've never tried starting one
of Dad's cars.
By the time dinner
was ready, the sun was going down and we had been playing for hours.
We hadn't had breakfast or lunch (not that we couldn't have. Mom and
Dad may not have been the greatest of parents, but they didn't starve
us), and we were more than ready to for dinner. Billy and Dad had
already gone inside and washed up. Billy as predicted had opened his
gifts and I could hear the him in the kitchen, thanking Mom in the
most genuine tone he could muster. She, naturally ate it up.
Mom had already
set dinner by the time we had washed and changed . Dad was at the
head of the table, talking cars with Bobby. The turkey, sweet potato
pie, ham, stuffing, deviled eggs, and potato salad, were crammed
tightly in the center. The good plates were out, along with the good
glasses and silverware. It was the only time Mom ever took them out
of the china cabinet, and we were always nervous to use them. Dad
didn't even bother to look up at us, and Mom was still in the
kitchen, so we took our places on either side, me next to Billy, and
Bobby on the other, near where Mom would be.
Now, every
Christmas story, has a Christmas miracle, and this one is no
exception; though it may not seem like a miracle to you.
For some reason,
Mom was taking a long time to come to the table, and Bobby got very
impatient (as kids his age often do). Without anyone noticing, he
crept out of his chair and crawled around to my side of the table. I
was listening to Billy and Dad's “car talk”, so when Bobby
reached up and poked his finger into my ribcage, I let out a
surprised yell and jumped out of my seat. Bobby laughed, proud that
that he got me. I, on the other hand, was not amused, a fact that he
must have sensed, because he scrambled to his feet and tore off
around the table. I was in hot pursuit, intent on wringing his little
neck...or at least whacking the crap out of him.
If Dad would have
stopped either of us right then, what was to follow would have never
happened. Of course, there would have been no Christmas miracle, and
no point to this story.
The leg of our
dining room table had come loose a few weeks earlier, and Mom had
been after Dad to fix it. But instead of fixing it properly, he had
rigged it back on with glue and tape. Don't ask me why. Had he fixed
it right, Bobby wouldn't have clipped it as he ran, knocking it
loose. Had he fixed it right, the table wouldn't have fallen. And had
he fixed it right, Christmas dinner wouldn't have slid off the table,
good dishes and all , and ended up in a heap in the corner.
For a second there
was nothing but dead silence. Bobby was frozen, fear struck, and I
was no better off. This was by far, the worst thing we could have
done, and the beating I knew was coming would be well beyond what I
cared to imagine. The silence was only broken by the primal scream of
my mother as she rushed in to see her dinner and prize china, piled
up waist high.
I didn't even
bother to look at Dad, I just took off running. Though it only took a
few second for me to reach my room, it felt like an hour. I could
almost feel Dad at my heels, reaching out to grab me. That I reached
my room unharmed, and managed to lock my door before he got there, IS
NOT the Christmas miracle, though at that moment it felt like one. I
pushed my self deep into the corner of my room, thinking that at any
second, the door would burst open, and the beating would begin. But
it didn't happen. After a few minutes I heard Mom crying and yelling
at Dad for not fixing the table.
“My God,” I
thought. “She's blaming him.”
A few more minutes
passed and there was a light rap at my door.
“Come on out.”
It was Billy.
Slowly, with
cautious optimism, I crept to the door and opened it. “What
happened?” I asked.
“Dad's fixing
the table,” said Billy. “And Mom wants us to help clean up the
mess.”
“Where's Bobby?”
I asked. At that moment I was actually worried about him...and a bit
guilty that I ran off and left him there.
Billy shrugged.
“Playing with his cap-guns I guess. Mom told him to go to the
living room and play by the tree.”
I followed Billy
back to where disaster had first struck. There was Dad, table upside
down, with a hammer and nails, and Mom was doing her best to salvage
what was left of Christmas dinner...and her china, of course. Dad
glared at me as I entered, but Mom cleared her throat, and he went
back to work. I think it was the only time she actually protected me,
and the first time I had ever seen my father back down.
We helped Mom, and
soon the table was fixed, and what little food there was left had
been place back on the table. Mom brought out the old dishes. Me and
Billy had to throw away the broken pieces of the good China. She
couldn't bear to look at them.
Once everything
was ready we all sat back down, and for a full minute no one spoke a
word. Then Mom nodded at Dad and we bowed our heads and said Grace.
After that...more silence. All that was left was the turkey, the ham,
and half a bowl of potato salad Mom had in reserve in the kitchen.
The rest was either mashed on the floor or had broken glass in it.
Then...Suddenly,
it happened. The Christmas miracle. It was so subtle and quiet, that
at first I didn't know what it was, like a rumble of a distant storm
that was just close enough to hear the echo of the thunder. Then it
got louder and louder, until I realized what it was. It was Dad. He
was laughing. I can't remember my father ever laughing before and he
would be an old man before I heard it again. Soon Bobby joined in,
followed by Billy. Of course, I couldn't help myself, and caught the
fever right along with them. Finally, Mom could hold it in any
longer, and there we were, dysfunctional family of the year, in an
all out belly laugh that lasted for a good five minutes.
That Christmas
dinner, we sat, talked, ate, and enjoyed one another's company as if
it were something that we did everyday. And though the joy did not
last past this one glorious meal, I felt somehow normal for a change.
We even had a great time opening the rest of the gifts and helped Mom
clean up after it was all over. Dad gave me his old pocket knife to
keep, and it was Bobby that was jealous for a change. Billy hung around just long
enough to see Mom and Dad open their presents, then went cruising.
That night I went to sleep happy, and didn't even mind when Bobby
crawled in bed with me.
In the years to
come my father would grow from a mean, hateful man, into a kind and
gentle grandfather. Sometimes I would stare at him in disbelief at
how much he had changed. And though he never said so, I like to think
that he regretted the way he was and the way he treated me.
My mother, bless
her soul, would remain the cold, vain woman she always had been for
the rest of her days. But still, she was my mother, and though I was
never sure how much she loved me, I always loved her. She did protect
me that one time, and because of that (among other things), the
Anderson's had a genuine Christmas miracle.
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